It seems like there are reminders of the holidays and family everywhere you turn. Log on to your social media account and you will probably be inundated with happy pictures of couples, their children and families. Pop into a store and you may see a Christmas tree that reminds you of the one you had in your family home. Hear a holiday song or receive a holiday card from a friend, and experience an unexpected reaction.
Battling Divorce, Loneliness and the Holidays
Our clients frequently battle loneliness during this season. If you feel this way, know that it is normal but not permanent. The holidays usually intensify feelings of sadness, loneliness, and loss especially because they are a painful reminder of how holidays were in the past and who is no longer here to celebrate with you. Many of our clients feel as though they have lost a spouse, traditions, and their identity.
No matter what you are enduring, know that this time of year is hard and there is no need to try to convince yourself otherwise. Life has changed. While there is no “quick fix,” here are some tips to help get you through the holiday season:
7 Tips for Divorce & the Holidays
1) Change your expectations.
There is a template in your mind of how the holidays “should be” based on how “they were.” Take some time, however, to reinvent how this year’s holidays are celebrated – even if it is by yourself. If you feel alone, use the time to reflect on the past and strategize how to move forward.
2) Set Boundaries.
You are your biggest advocate. If you choose to celebrate with others, let your friends, family, and friends know that there are certain topics that are off limits this season. This will help others to understand that you want to get through this process as opposed to having them probe for information that can add undue stress.
3) Engage in welcome distractions.
Find something that you enjoy. Oftentimes, people feel sad during the holidays and this comes with negative thoughts. Do not let those thoughts weigh you down because they can prevent you from experiencing pleasure. Stay strong, fight through those feelings and do not let them cripple you. Some of our clients enjoy using calming apps, going to the movies or working out. Others admit that they work long hours as a way to block out the stress. Staying busy is an effective way to redirect your thoughts and energy into more positive outlets.
4) Create new memories with your children, friends, or yourself.
This is the time to begin the process of redefining the holidays. While some place a high value on giving monetary gifts, gift your child memories. The sentimental value of memories will last a lot longer. Change is hard, but embrace this new chapter as tough as it is because a new beginning awaits.
5) Think about how to move forward into the New Year.
What are some personal goals you have? Make a list and try to target those for in the New Year.
6) Get Support + Take Action.
You don’t have to go through this alone. Find a support group. For example, CGG offers a complimentary divorce support group so that clients can connect with other divorce support friends who are going through similar circumstances.
7) Remember to take care of yourself this holiday season and always.
A proper diet and exercise can make a difference in how your brain processes stress. Avoid sugars and caffeine, as they are catalysts for anxiety. Eat foods that will have a more calming effect on your body and thought processes, such as vegetables, fruits, and fish.
Comfort & Happy Holidays From our Northern Virginia Family Law Firm
Trusting that you found some comfort reading this blog entry. Be strong enough to get through the difficult times and wise enough to know that there are brighter days ahead. Wishing you continued strength to get through the tough times. Happy Holidays. Dr. Leah Nathan