The world feels like it is in a state of panic with all the closures nationwide.
One thing we do know is that change happens, and we have to devise a plan on how to move forward. The routine of going about our daily lives is now disrupted and replaced with a new norm. Yes, there’s the big unknown of how this will all unfold. Some of our clients are fortunate to have the ability to work remotely, but for others this change may have an even more devastating impact emotionally and financially. And to think that all of this is happening while going through a divorce is even more wrenching.
Nonetheless, you have to put the oxygen mask on yourself first before you do anything else. So, let’s turn our attention to YOU! Below are 14 tips on how to combat the corona stress. You’ll also find these tips useful when normal life returns so keep them handy:
- Manage Information Intake: While it’s good to stay informed, too much information can lead to stress overload. In a time when lots of things are out of our control it’s best to try to control what you can, such as the amount of news you watch/read. You may already have the basic information you need so watching/reading the news repetitively won’t help. Rather, it may increase your catastrophic thinking and anxieties. Instead of constantly checking the news, schedule times to check it e.g., once or twice per day. Pay attention to how your body reacts to the news. Is it increasing your anxiety? Is it perpetuating any negative thoughts? Do you already know what you need to know? Is this information calming you down? Do you have someone to talk to in order to help process the information?
- Activate your “Dive Response”: Wash your face with cold water – yes, as simple as this sounds – do it. Dialectal Behavior Therapy (DBT) mentions this strategy as a part of the distress tolerance model. By submerging your face in cold water for 15-30 seconds it triggers your brain to use the “dive response,” slows down your heart rate, and helps reduce your stress level. Repeat this a few times and you’ll experience the results. Blood flow is then redirected to vital areas of your heart and brain.
- Create a “worry period”: It’s natural to feel worried during this time, try streamlining your worry time towards the later part of your day, e.g. around 5PM, but early enough so that it does not make you too anxious at night. During the worry time you can make a list of all your worries and/or talk to someone about your worries, but the rest of the day is a worry free zone.
- Monitor your own “fight or flight” reaction: The current pandemic has our brains in “fight or flight” mode. Some folks are stressing and legitimately so. There are some unknown variables of when things will return to normalcy. As you know, stress plays a major role in decision making, judgement, and how we interact with our kids and co-parent. So pay attention to your fight-or-flight response i.e., the physiological reaction that occurs in the presence of something that is scary or even terrifying.
The response is triggered by the release of hormones that prepare your body to either stay and deal with a threat or to run away to safety. Everyone reacts differently to stress. Are you a bit more edgy, short fused, not sleeping properly, engaging in panic buying, or having racing thoughts? COVID-19 is not an imagined danger – the risks are real – but fight-or-flight-driven thinking can lead to decisions that won’t keep us safer and may make things worse. Try reassuring yourself that you have all that you need right now to get through this acute phase. By priming your body for action, you are better prepared to perform under pressure.
- Avoid Panic Eating: There’s no doubt that some folks are emotional eaters. This may be the right time to try eating healthy. Make stress prone food harder to reach. For example, put healthier snacks to the front of your pantry and less healthy snacks to the back. That way, when you get a craving to indulge in stress eating, less healthy foods are harder to get to. Also, for those fitness fanatics try using “My Fitness Pal” this is a free app that will help you journal your food intake. It also has a blog with a wealth of information on food, stress, and healthy lifestyle. Check it out here.
- Give your immune system a boost: Try making a spinach drink (or even a celery drink), and add some ginger and turmeric. Fun fact – did you know that these ingredients have natural healing properties? Spinach provides your body with antioxidants, vitamin C, and beta carotene, while, ginger and turmeric are anti-inflammatories.
A proper diet and exercise can make a difference on how your brain processes stress. Avoid sugars and caffeine; they are catalysts for anxiety that can increase catastrophic thinking. Eat foods that will have a more calming effect on your body and thought process such as vegetables, fruits, and fish, all of which help to regulate the brain’s neurotransmitters.
Be sure to check out this blog entry on My Fitness Pal on the 9 Foods to Help Combat Stress and Anxiety. I found it incredibly helpful and trust that you will too. Click here.
- Focus on the positives: Cognitive reframing allows us to take a look at situations from a different perspective. As devastating as this down time is for some, it also provides us with the opportunity to set personal goals, indulgence in a fitness routine, create more memories with our children, have talks that needed to happen, pause and think about how to best navigate the divorce process, or read a book that you have wanted to but never had the time to.
- Set your boundaries: If you work from home, set boundaries e.g. when you’re around your desk – that means you are at work. When your door is closed that means you are on an important work related phone call. This personally works for me and my kids. Likewise, set personal boundaries when you get a text message, email, or phone call from your soon to be ex-spouse. Unless it’s a dire emergency you don’t have to respond right away.
- Cultivate a New Habit: Habits govern our everyday lives. Take this time to foster a healthy habit or even start a new habit such as eating healthy, cultivating a new Sunday ritual, learning a new hobby, or even trying a new healthy communication strategy with your co-parenting partner. There are some apps you may find helpful such as Habitica and HabitShare.
- Diaphragmatic Breathing: Right now most people are in a state of shock, panic, and fear. You can control your breathing which in turn means you can control your anxiety. One of the major premises of anxiety is perceived control. The more you think you are in control then the less stress you will feel. Just like training a muscle the more you practice breathing the more programmed your brain becomes to regulate stress and your heart rate will decrease. The diaphragm is the most efficient muscle of breathing. It is a large, dome-shaped muscle located at the base of the lungs. Your abdominal muscles help move the diaphragm and give you more power to empty your lungs. Click here to learn more.
- Meditation: There are tons of helpful mediation apps that you can download from the convenience of your cell phone. Some of the more popular ones include: Headspace, Calm, and Simple Habit. Given the current pandemic, some of these apps are offering free subscriptions.
Also, for those interested in yoga, CorePower Yoga is giving everyone free access to a new collection of online classes every week so you can keep on moving wherever you are. For those wanting something short, quick and easy my go to is this Youtube video. Click here to listen and enjoy!
- Stay socially distant and socially connected to others: It’s still important to connect with others. There are tons of social media platforms to stay in touch e.g. Facebook, Instagram, WhatsApp, Twitter, FaceTime, Skype, Zoom, GoToMeetings, Snapchat, TikTok, and the list goes one. Send someone a text, voice note, or even a meme to share a laugh!
- Enjoy the little things: After all, they do say to enjoy the little things because one day you will look back and realize they were the big things. Whether it’s the smell of your coffee or tea or the sunshine, find something to appreciate.
- Read Motivational Quotes: Things may have to get worse before they get better. Motivational quotes help to frame an experience or even provide a new lens through which to process your situation. I came across this quote and thought to share it with you during this time of uncertainty:
I will breathe
I will think of solutions
I will not let my worry control me
I will not let my stress level break me
I will simply breathe and it will
be okay because I don’t quit
~ Shayne McClendon
In this time of uncertainty, just breathe, stay calm and use some of the strategies from this article. We are all working through this new normal.
If you need someone to talk to please consider contacting our in house psychologist/divorce coach Dr. Leah Nathan at lnathan@cgglaywers.com. Leah provides a one-time complimentary meeting that can be done over the phone or by video.