A complete upheaval of everyone’s normal schedule over the past couple of weeks has created brand new challenges all families must face. Whether you have been in a long term marriage or are newly cohabitating with a partner, most people never anticipated their longest commute would be from the bedroom to the dining room, that kids would be out of school for the rest of the year, or that they would be trying to do their job while being around their significant other 24/7. It can be difficult to navigate this new normal. Here are some tips to help you through this time and hopefully avoid the need for a call to our office at the end of this.
1. Respect each other’s schedules.
Does your partner usually have calls in the morning or in the afternoon? Are they required to attend video meetings? Does someone have a deadline? It’s important to understand what each other’s work day looks like before it starts. Each day may be different and it’s likely you are not going to be equally busy. Just because you have some extra time to vacuum the house doesn’t mean your partner’s work has also automatically gone on hold. It’s likely that they will not appreciate the hum of the vacuum while trying to finish a report. Understanding and respecting what is on each other’s work plate can alleviate stress and help to avoid unnecessary conflict.
2. Find your own space.
Some people may have the benefit of living in a space where you can set up two separate offices, but the majority of people do not. Even if you live in a small space, it is important to carve out separate work areas. This may mean that someone is working on the coffee table and the other person is in a bedroom. Although these work spaces may not be conventional, these separate spaces allow for each person to focus on their work and take calls and meetings without disturbing the other. This also gives you an excuse to set up a lunch date in the kitchen.
3. Create a new routine.
A lot of people no longer have just their jobs to worry about. You have become a teacher, a daycare worker, and a dog walker – all while trying to remain a productive player in your office. If you and your partner have children and are lucky enough to have a flexible schedule, take turns being ‘on duty’ throughout the day. Try to get the whole family on a new routine that will give everyone the time they need to get their work done.
Even if you do not have children, it’s important to establish a routine for yourself and your partner. If you are able to recreate your office routine, go for it. It’s important to separate your work and home life more than ever. A routine will help you ‘turn off’ at the end of the day which is important for you and your partner to be able to unwind and prepare for the next day.
4. Set expectations.
Your partner may not appreciate listening to today’s top hits the same way that you do during the workday. They also may not want to discuss personal matters throughout the work day. Ask your partner what they would prefer and then set and stick to these boundaries. A discussion about whether or not Aunt Sally is in the family zoom chat can likely wait until after work is over.
5. Don’t forget to connect.
Working from home will no doubt give you and your partner more time to spend together, but time spent in the same room doesn’t necessarily mean time connecting. Establishing a work schedule and carving out time for date nights (at home) are important. If you are not conscious about the time you are devoting to your relationship, you can very easily get sucked into simply co-existing rather than connecting.
Most importantly, try and enjoy this extra time with your family and partner. Remember that this is new for everyone and that there will be bumps in the road.