When going through a family law issue, one of the biggest concerns you may have is how decisions will be made about your children, property, and finances. You may fear that you are entering a contentious process with litigation and turmoil where a judge makes these major decisions for you. However, that is not the only path. Mediation is an alternative to litigation that is a more private and collaborative, and often less stressful and less expensive.
What is Mediation?
Mediation is a voluntary, consensual process where a trained, neutral third party facilitates discussions and negotiations between parties. The goal of mediation is to reach a settlement that resolves matters such as custody arrangements, child support, spousal support, and division of assets.
How Mediation Works:
There are several ways to begin mediation. One spouse can suggest mediation to the other, or, in limited cases and jurisdictions, it can be ordered by the court during pending litigation.
Before mediation begins, it is beneficial for each client to have a consultation with their own attorney. Meeting with counsel ahead of time helps you understand the legal issues at play, what outcomes are realistic, and what questions or priorities you want to raise during the process. Going into mediation with that foundation allows you to participate more fully and confidently in the discussions.
Then mediation will begin. The mediator will first explain the process and establish ground rules for mediation. Everyone participating will also sign a mediation agreement that ensures that everything discussed during mediation remains confidential.
An important component of mediation is full disclosure of assets and income. Both parties must be transparent about their financial picture in order to create a level playing field. Without complete and honest disclosure, it is difficult to negotiate a fair settlement. Full disclosure allows both spouses to evaluate proposals with accurate information and negotiate in good faith.
With the aid of the mediator and attorneys, discussions will begin. The mediator is there to facilitate discussion and help the parties focus on the real issues at hand. Negotiations will continue, sometimes for multiple sessions, until the parties successfully come to an agreement.
If you and your spouse come to an agreement, the mediator will draft a settlement agreement in writing that can later be entered as part of the court order issuing the final order of divorce. Before signing, each party should have the agreement reviewed by their own independent counsel. This step is not about renegotiating or complicating what was already agreed upon — it is about making sure each client fully understands every provision of the agreement before putting a signature on it. If the parties cannot come to an agreement, the mediation will end with no agreement, and the dispute will return or move to litigation.
Benefits of Mediation:
First, everything that is said in mediation is confidential. This encourages open and honest communication. Additionally, mediation is especially helpful when parties have children and the parties need to preserve a coparenting relationship, as it is often a less contentious process and parties can resolve matters in an effective, timely manner. Mediation also reduces time and expenses that would be involved in litigation.
Another benefit of mediation is that the parties come to an agreement themselves rather than submitting to a judge who will dictate the outcome. Mediation allows participants to come up with creative solutions that meet each family’s needs and ensure that everyone walks away with an agreement they are satisfied with.
How to Be Successful During Mediation:
To get the most out of mediation, both parties need to have the mindset that they will leave with an agreement. You and your spouse need to be willing to negotiate, listen, and compromise. Being open to crafting creative solutions will help you leave mediation with an agreement you both are satisfied with.
Limitations of Mediation:
While mediation is a valuable tool, it is not appropriate in every case. It may not be effective if there is a significant power imbalance between you and your spouse, there is a lack of disclosure, or you believe the other spouse is not willing to negotiate in good faith. Cases involving domestic violence or abuse may be better suited for court and require additional safeguards.
How the Family Law Attorneys at Cooper Ginsberg Gray can help:
If you are facing a family law matter, we are here to help in multiple ways. Two CGG partners, David Ginsberg and Nathan Olson, serve as mediators. All of our lawyers can assist clients with selecting a mediator, preparing and strategizing for mediation, and reviewing the final mediated agreement. To determine if mediation is right for you, reach out to our Virginia family law attorneys by visiting www.cgglawyers.com or calling (703) 934-1480.
